"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind." (p. 515)
What a powerful passage on the freedom of speech. It would be quite a boring society if everyone was forced to agree with the masses. Being an African American, I have to imagine the bondage I would still be living in if great men and women didn't stand up and speak for, not only the present generation but generations to come. Being a woman, I appreciate those men who cared enough and the women who were brave enough to fight for our rights to be equally educated and paid. Being a mom, I don't have to sit back with the masses and settle for failing and inferior schools. I can voice my opinion to the principal, and if that's not heard, then to the school board.
In today's society we are often afraid to speak out against unfair treatment or injustices. Have you ever witness a parent going to far with the "spare the rod" concept in public? What do we do?....We look around to see if anyone else notices the incident so we can feel a since of camaraderie before we speak out. Are we wondering to ourselves, if we are the only one who thinks the parent is being abusive, or if others will think we need to mind our business? This passage is letting us know that even if we are the only one opposed to a situation, we have just as much right to speak out as others do to remain silent.
Monday, June 25, 2007
The Book of Household Management- Isabella Beeton (Victorian Ladies and Gentlemen)
Isabella Beeton, before the age of 28, wrote this book to address the needs of women to run a more structured household. I find this passage to be very funny and true. In today's writings it would be suited to call it the "Dummies Guide to Household Management".
"I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife's badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways. Men are so well served out of doors...........that in order to compete with the attractions of these places, a mistress must be thoroughly acquainted with the theory and practice of cookery, as well as be perfectly conversant with all the other arts of making and keeping a comfortable home." (p574)
This book, like the Bible, has no age. What was true for the women in Isabella's days is also true now. Many business men are engaging in luncheons and dinners to entertain clients. If the food is not catered by the best chefs in town, they take their clients to hobnob at places like Houston's, Sambuca's or Garrison's. How awful it would be if the only way he knew he was going to get a tasty meal was when he wasn't at home!
"As with the Commander of an Army, or the leader of any enterprise, so is it with the mistress of a house. Her spirit will be seen throughout the whole establishment; Indeed when a mistress is an early riser, it is almost certain that her house will be orderly and well-managed. On the contrary, if she remain in bed till a late hour, then the domestics........invariably partake somewhat of their mistress's character, will surely become sluggards."
I like how Isabella refers to a women as someone with such power and authority in a household. Like Sarah Ellis, she brought light to an image that was contrary to how men saw women and how women were seeing themselves. So often, women go through their daily lives of getting kids ready for school, off to work, back home to cook dinner, put the kids to bed, and then to bed themselves....only to realize her work is still not complete for the night. We, (I've been guilty of this to), fail to see how our many different roles, when done correctly, contribute to the success of our families. The Bible refers to the "virtuous woman" as one that gets up before dawn to prepare meals for her family. (Proverbs 31:15) If the woman sleeps late, then the kids oversleep. If they eat breakfast, then their late to school. If they don't eat breakfast, then they are cranky at school. I she drops off whining, hungry kids at school, her day doesn't go well because she feels like she is a bad mom. When she comes home with an attitude because her boss fussed at her for being late....her husband may as well turn in early.
*For those wondering why the biblical reference... The Book of Household Management became a best-seller second only to the Bible. Now that's impressive!
"I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife's badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways. Men are so well served out of doors...........that in order to compete with the attractions of these places, a mistress must be thoroughly acquainted with the theory and practice of cookery, as well as be perfectly conversant with all the other arts of making and keeping a comfortable home." (p574)
This book, like the Bible, has no age. What was true for the women in Isabella's days is also true now. Many business men are engaging in luncheons and dinners to entertain clients. If the food is not catered by the best chefs in town, they take their clients to hobnob at places like Houston's, Sambuca's or Garrison's. How awful it would be if the only way he knew he was going to get a tasty meal was when he wasn't at home!
"As with the Commander of an Army, or the leader of any enterprise, so is it with the mistress of a house. Her spirit will be seen throughout the whole establishment; Indeed when a mistress is an early riser, it is almost certain that her house will be orderly and well-managed. On the contrary, if she remain in bed till a late hour, then the domestics........invariably partake somewhat of their mistress's character, will surely become sluggards."
I like how Isabella refers to a women as someone with such power and authority in a household. Like Sarah Ellis, she brought light to an image that was contrary to how men saw women and how women were seeing themselves. So often, women go through their daily lives of getting kids ready for school, off to work, back home to cook dinner, put the kids to bed, and then to bed themselves....only to realize her work is still not complete for the night. We, (I've been guilty of this to), fail to see how our many different roles, when done correctly, contribute to the success of our families. The Bible refers to the "virtuous woman" as one that gets up before dawn to prepare meals for her family. (Proverbs 31:15) If the woman sleeps late, then the kids oversleep. If they eat breakfast, then their late to school. If they don't eat breakfast, then they are cranky at school. I she drops off whining, hungry kids at school, her day doesn't go well because she feels like she is a bad mom. When she comes home with an attitude because her boss fussed at her for being late....her husband may as well turn in early.
*For those wondering why the biblical reference... The Book of Household Management became a best-seller second only to the Bible. Now that's impressive!
Records of Woman (Properzia Rossi)-Felecia Hemans
Properzia Rossi was a talented sculptor, poet, and musician. She was madly in love with a Roman Knight and tried desperately to gain his love and attention. After constant disappointment, she died of a broken heart.
"Tell me no more, no more of my soul's lofty gifts! Are they not vain to quench its haunting thirst for happiness? Have I not lov'd, and striven, and fail'd to bind one true heart unto me, whereon my own might find a resting-place, a home for all its burden of affections?" (p. 409)
Often in life, no matter how talented and happy a person seems on the outside, deep down it seems no amount of acclamations and acknowledgments are enough to ease the longing they feel inside. When we hear our favorite love song or read our favorite love poem, we subconsciously image the writer to have gotten their inspiration from their one true love. Properzia reminds me of women who will "by any means necessary" gain the affections of someone they deemed to be "the one". We judge these type of women and say they're desperate or crazy to not move on when the feelings aren't reciprocated. But as we know, when the heart and mind are in a tug-of-war, the heart usually wins.
"I depart, unknown, tho' fame goes with me; I must leave the earth unknown......Yet one more dream! from my deep spirit one victorious gleam ere I depart! for thee alone, for thee! May this last work, this farewell triumph be, thou, lov'd so vainly! I would leave enshrined something immortal of my heart and mind, that yet may speak to thee when I am gone? (p.409)
I originally thought of Properzia's death as a woman drowning in love sick sorrow until her heart couldn't take it anymore. But this verse of poem leads me to believe she planned her death and committed suicide. I can hear her saying, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all." Before she dies, she makes one last chance effort to win his affections. When that doesn't work, she leaves the sculpture with him, with the hopes of it being a constant reminder to him of her love. Because of her unrequited love for the Roman Knight, she feels as though she is a nobody in her life. My mom has a friend that is a highly esteemed nurse who sits on the Board of Directors at the hospital. Unlike Properzia, she has been married to at least 5 different men who she felt were "the one". Like Properzia, she went to great lengths to gain the love of these men; buying wardrobes, jewelry, cars and trips. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, she hasn't given up on finding her "Knight ".
"Tell me no more, no more of my soul's lofty gifts! Are they not vain to quench its haunting thirst for happiness? Have I not lov'd, and striven, and fail'd to bind one true heart unto me, whereon my own might find a resting-place, a home for all its burden of affections?" (p. 409)
Often in life, no matter how talented and happy a person seems on the outside, deep down it seems no amount of acclamations and acknowledgments are enough to ease the longing they feel inside. When we hear our favorite love song or read our favorite love poem, we subconsciously image the writer to have gotten their inspiration from their one true love. Properzia reminds me of women who will "by any means necessary" gain the affections of someone they deemed to be "the one". We judge these type of women and say they're desperate or crazy to not move on when the feelings aren't reciprocated. But as we know, when the heart and mind are in a tug-of-war, the heart usually wins.
"I depart, unknown, tho' fame goes with me; I must leave the earth unknown......Yet one more dream! from my deep spirit one victorious gleam ere I depart! for thee alone, for thee! May this last work, this farewell triumph be, thou, lov'd so vainly! I would leave enshrined something immortal of my heart and mind, that yet may speak to thee when I am gone? (p.409)
I originally thought of Properzia's death as a woman drowning in love sick sorrow until her heart couldn't take it anymore. But this verse of poem leads me to believe she planned her death and committed suicide. I can hear her saying, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all." Before she dies, she makes one last chance effort to win his affections. When that doesn't work, she leaves the sculpture with him, with the hopes of it being a constant reminder to him of her love. Because of her unrequited love for the Roman Knight, she feels as though she is a nobody in her life. My mom has a friend that is a highly esteemed nurse who sits on the Board of Directors at the hospital. Unlike Properzia, she has been married to at least 5 different men who she felt were "the one". Like Properzia, she went to great lengths to gain the love of these men; buying wardrobes, jewelry, cars and trips. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, she hasn't given up on finding her "Knight ".
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Statement Repudiating the Rights of Husbands-J.S. Mills
A wise man in those times would choose to marry women of material substance, because it was to their advantage. They not only gained a wife and mother for their kids, but gained control over whatever money, land, and freedoms she was used to. She no longer had a say in what her life meant, for she was forever changed into whatever he wanted her to be. If a woman wished to be married, she was only given a "Hobson's choice, 'that or none'." (p. 527)
The song lyrics that comes to mind when I read this is "what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man." J.S. Mills has found his first and hopes to be his only love. He not only chooses to marry her, but chooses to give up the many rights that are given to men who marry. Luckily for Mill's wife, he loved her enough to produce a binding agreement (however unenforceable ) "that she retains in all respects whatever the same absolute freedom of action, and freedom of disposal of herself and of all that does or may at any time belong to her, as if no such marriage had taken place; and I absolutely disclaim and repudiate all pretence to have acquired any rights whatever by virtue of such marriage." The future Mrs. Mills must have been amazed to know that her fiance was not all talk and followed through on what he openly protested. Mills not only lets her keep what she brought into the marriage but will allow her to take whatever she gained during the marriage, should it end in divorce. I can't imagine at this point in my life, having acquired so much without a husband, that I would want to be married so bad, that I would be willing to possibly lose it all in the end. Even for women who have not established themselves financially, marriage in those days would be the ultimate loss of one's self.
The song lyrics that comes to mind when I read this is "what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man." J.S. Mills has found his first and hopes to be his only love. He not only chooses to marry her, but chooses to give up the many rights that are given to men who marry. Luckily for Mill's wife, he loved her enough to produce a binding agreement (however unenforceable ) "that she retains in all respects whatever the same absolute freedom of action, and freedom of disposal of herself and of all that does or may at any time belong to her, as if no such marriage had taken place; and I absolutely disclaim and repudiate all pretence to have acquired any rights whatever by virtue of such marriage." The future Mrs. Mills must have been amazed to know that her fiance was not all talk and followed through on what he openly protested. Mills not only lets her keep what she brought into the marriage but will allow her to take whatever she gained during the marriage, should it end in divorce. I can't imagine at this point in my life, having acquired so much without a husband, that I would want to be married so bad, that I would be willing to possibly lose it all in the end. Even for women who have not established themselves financially, marriage in those days would be the ultimate loss of one's self.
The Influence of Women-Sarah Stickney Ellis
When I read Sarah Ellis's thoughts on the position she felt women should have in society, I was initially appalled. How dare she side with men, in seeing women as inferior creatures whose only care in the world should be how better to serve!
"It is not to be presumed that women possess more power than men;.....who yet possess so clear a sense of the right and wrong of individual actions, as to be of essential in aiding the judgments of their husbands, brothers, or sons, in those intricate affairs in which it is sometimes difficult to dissever worldly wisdom from religious duty." (p 557)
As I began to read more, I looked beyond the surface of what she was saying and saw the power and unseen ability to change the world that she viewed women had. Sara Ellis believed in the "sixth sense" that many women claim to posses. The ability to know or sense that someone means us no good, that a situation doesn't feel right or that someone is lying to us. Ask any woman whose husband has been unfaithful, and she'll most likely say she sensed something was wrong. Sara Ellis was in tuned to a gift so treasured by her, that she wondered if it was heaven sent. Sure she had some opposition from the "burn your bra or corset women", but she stood firm in what she believed.
"....While his integrity was shaken, and his resolution gave way beneath the pressure of apparent necessity, or the insidious pretences of expediency, he has stood corrected before the clear eye of woman, as it looked directly to the naked truth, and detected the lurking evil of the specious act he was about to commit. Nay, so potent may have become this secret influence, that he may have borne it about with him like a kind of second conscience..." (557)
Wise women, young and old, are aware of the daily pressures men face. They can acknowledge this without feeling like they are minimizing their own challenges. Some women won't admit it but I will. We expect men to make more money than us, protect us, keep the house out of foreclosure, save for our future, and to continue going to the job that they hate, just because it brings home six figures. Even if we did want to hear it, men aren't going to tell you that in order to keep things afloat, he was tempted to take that bribe at work, cheat the little old lady out of her investments, or put a want ad in the paper for some male "Indecent Proposals" (remember the movie?). I agree with Sara Ellis that one of the reasons our men do not succumb to the temptations is that, they to, are aware of our "sixth sense". When they come home from work and reply that their day was fine, they are secretly hoping that they are looking convincing enough that you can not detect the evil that they wanted to do, but didn't. As they recline in their easy chair, they replay how they overcame the challenges of yet another day and pat themselves on the back thinking "what great morals and values I must have". All the while, she's in the kitchen patting herself on the back for keeping the "holy duty of cherishing and protecting the minor morals of life, from whence springs all that is elevated in purpose, and glorious in action." (558)
"It is not to be presumed that women possess more power than men;.....who yet possess so clear a sense of the right and wrong of individual actions, as to be of essential in aiding the judgments of their husbands, brothers, or sons, in those intricate affairs in which it is sometimes difficult to dissever worldly wisdom from religious duty." (p 557)
As I began to read more, I looked beyond the surface of what she was saying and saw the power and unseen ability to change the world that she viewed women had. Sara Ellis believed in the "sixth sense" that many women claim to posses. The ability to know or sense that someone means us no good, that a situation doesn't feel right or that someone is lying to us. Ask any woman whose husband has been unfaithful, and she'll most likely say she sensed something was wrong. Sara Ellis was in tuned to a gift so treasured by her, that she wondered if it was heaven sent. Sure she had some opposition from the "burn your bra or corset women", but she stood firm in what she believed.
"....While his integrity was shaken, and his resolution gave way beneath the pressure of apparent necessity, or the insidious pretences of expediency, he has stood corrected before the clear eye of woman, as it looked directly to the naked truth, and detected the lurking evil of the specious act he was about to commit. Nay, so potent may have become this secret influence, that he may have borne it about with him like a kind of second conscience..." (557)
Wise women, young and old, are aware of the daily pressures men face. They can acknowledge this without feeling like they are minimizing their own challenges. Some women won't admit it but I will. We expect men to make more money than us, protect us, keep the house out of foreclosure, save for our future, and to continue going to the job that they hate, just because it brings home six figures. Even if we did want to hear it, men aren't going to tell you that in order to keep things afloat, he was tempted to take that bribe at work, cheat the little old lady out of her investments, or put a want ad in the paper for some male "Indecent Proposals" (remember the movie?). I agree with Sara Ellis that one of the reasons our men do not succumb to the temptations is that, they to, are aware of our "sixth sense". When they come home from work and reply that their day was fine, they are secretly hoping that they are looking convincing enough that you can not detect the evil that they wanted to do, but didn't. As they recline in their easy chair, they replay how they overcame the challenges of yet another day and pat themselves on the back thinking "what great morals and values I must have". All the while, she's in the kitchen patting herself on the back for keeping the "holy duty of cherishing and protecting the minor morals of life, from whence springs all that is elevated in purpose, and glorious in action." (558)
Friday, June 22, 2007
I Wake and Feel the Fell of Dark, Not Day - Gerald Hopkins
Dr. Glance says to interpret the poems as we see them, so I'm going to give this a shot. When I read it, it spoke to me as a lovers quarrel that never seems to end. I imagine an argument that went well into the night and finally the couple turns in.
"I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day. What hours, O what black hours we have spent this night! what sights you, heart, saw; ways you went! and more must, in yet longer light's delay." (778 1-4) The woman has slept so hard from exhaustion that she is sure it has to be the next day. She closes her eyes again and thinks over the painful things that were said. She feels the hurt that penetrated her heart to the point that it seems her heart was an outsider viewing in disbelief at the things it saw. She's dreading the morning, for fear the argument will begin again.
"But where I say hours, I mean years, mean life. And my lament is cries countless, cries like dead letters sent to dearest him that lives alas! away." (5-8) Have you ever been in a relationship that has been so emotionally draining that each fight seems to last for days or years? I don't mean literally, but some words hurt so bad that, long after the fight is over, they still have life. Sometimes the tears you shed are because of your inescapable present, and sometimes they're for the pain of losing the good one that got away.
"Selfyeast of spirit a dull dough sours. I see the lost are like this, and their scourge to be as I am mine, their sweating selves; but worse." (12-14) This women is saying that the heat from hell looks better than where she's sitting. Often when a relationship goes bad, you look for some glimmer of hope. You keep telling yourself, he or she will "come around". Although it's good to not give up on the ones you love, you may one day have to take off your rose-tinted glasses and move on.
"I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day. What hours, O what black hours we have spent this night! what sights you, heart, saw; ways you went! and more must, in yet longer light's delay." (778 1-4) The woman has slept so hard from exhaustion that she is sure it has to be the next day. She closes her eyes again and thinks over the painful things that were said. She feels the hurt that penetrated her heart to the point that it seems her heart was an outsider viewing in disbelief at the things it saw. She's dreading the morning, for fear the argument will begin again.
"But where I say hours, I mean years, mean life. And my lament is cries countless, cries like dead letters sent to dearest him that lives alas! away." (5-8) Have you ever been in a relationship that has been so emotionally draining that each fight seems to last for days or years? I don't mean literally, but some words hurt so bad that, long after the fight is over, they still have life. Sometimes the tears you shed are because of your inescapable present, and sometimes they're for the pain of losing the good one that got away.
"Selfyeast of spirit a dull dough sours. I see the lost are like this, and their scourge to be as I am mine, their sweating selves; but worse." (12-14) This women is saying that the heat from hell looks better than where she's sitting. Often when a relationship goes bad, you look for some glimmer of hope. You keep telling yourself, he or she will "come around". Although it's good to not give up on the ones you love, you may one day have to take off your rose-tinted glasses and move on.
Thoughts on My Sick-Bed- Dorothy Wordsworth
This poem was such an inspiration for me. Dorothy Wordsworth was bedridden for 20yrs. She had every reason to be depressed, bitter and angry at the world. But instead she takes the time to think about the beautiful Spring day that has arrived. "And has the remnant of my life been pilfered of this sunny Spring?"(p293 1,2)) "Ah! say not so-the hidden life Couchant within this feeble frame hath been enriched by kindred gifts, that, undesired, unsought-for, came" (p293 5-8) Though she terms her current state as her "hidden life", she reflects on the many blessings she has been given over the years.
We many not know anyone in such an awful condition as Dorothy, but we all know someone who complains of their situations, rather than enjoying what life has to offer and being thankful for past blessings. A friend passed away a few years ago. He was diagnosed with AIDS about 8 years before. Although he was never bedridden, he was in and out of the hospital many times. I have never seen anyone with such an upbeat, happy personality. He was the life of the party and everyone enjoyed being around him. Dorothy must have given off that same energy and zest for life because her friends didn't forget about her. "When loving Friends and offering brought, the first flowers of the year, culled from the precincts of our home, from nooks to Memory dear." (33-36)
We all have our ups and down in life but it is our choice as to how we deal with it. We can take on the "whoa is me" attitude or we can reminisce on the beauty of the past and look forward to what lies ahead. "With busy eyes I pierced the lane in quest of known and unknown things, -The primrose a lamp on its fortress rock, the silent butterfly spreading its wings, ."(13-16)
We many not know anyone in such an awful condition as Dorothy, but we all know someone who complains of their situations, rather than enjoying what life has to offer and being thankful for past blessings. A friend passed away a few years ago. He was diagnosed with AIDS about 8 years before. Although he was never bedridden, he was in and out of the hospital many times. I have never seen anyone with such an upbeat, happy personality. He was the life of the party and everyone enjoyed being around him. Dorothy must have given off that same energy and zest for life because her friends didn't forget about her. "When loving Friends and offering brought, the first flowers of the year, culled from the precincts of our home, from nooks to Memory dear." (33-36)
We all have our ups and down in life but it is our choice as to how we deal with it. We can take on the "whoa is me" attitude or we can reminisce on the beauty of the past and look forward to what lies ahead. "With busy eyes I pierced the lane in quest of known and unknown things, -The primrose a lamp on its fortress rock, the silent butterfly spreading its wings, ."(13-16)
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