Friday, June 29, 2007
My Heart Leaps Up- William Wordsworth
This poem speaks to me of an appreciation for life. I we admire the wonders around us, we will find there is little to complain about. The rainbow signifies God's promises. When we feel a little down and out, we can think of the rainbow. When we think of a rainbow, we also think of the rain that comes before it. The rain can be light, heavy, thunderous or scary. So is the course of life. So when things get rough, let's do like the author and allow our hearts to leap at the beauty that' around the corner.
When Shall I Tread Your Garden Path
I love the spirit of Dorothy Wordsworth. Although she had been feeble for five years at this point, she still had a desire and belief to walk again. She refused to accept her present day situation as her last will and testament to life. How often do we see someone in a physically or emotionally "lame" situation who seem to have given up? No matter how much we tell them to "keep hope alive" or it will get better, they seem determined to focus on the agony of 'right now'. This guy at church was operated on by his doctor, and the doctor "messed up" and left the guy crippled and in a wheelchair. Regardless of the awful situation, this guy still came to church with a smile on his face saying he would walk again. Months went by but he now is walking with a cane. I so glad, that like Dorothy Wordsworth, he maintained the hope that eventually became a reality.
The Subjection of Women-John Mill
This reminds me of domestic violence. Before you say..what??????, let me explain. One of my teachers is a domestic violence counselor. She explained to us that domestic violence is not only when a women/man is physically abuse but often only consist of mental abuse in the form of control. A man with a controlling nature will likely say he didn't force the woman to do anything. But she, the woman, has gotten accustomed to granting his every whim, regardless of her feelings, that she quickly obeys, and appears to be a "willing slave". My college roommate had a boyfriend who was physically abusive, when they were alone and mentally abusive when others were around. He would ask her to do something and when she objected he would get up and walk towards her with a stone face glaring at her. He had programmed her to fear him and she consequently did what she was told.
God"s Grandeur-Gerard Hopkins
Often times I look at things in nature and the environment and wonder what made God think of that. Like the stars in the sky. Each one looking almost identical but in reality are shaped and sized differently. Like the trees and grass. I believe green is God's favorite color, because you see it everywhere you go. When I look up into the sky, I sometimes try to focus real hard to see how far I can see. I wonder, why he made mountains and valleys and how does the ocean know where to stop. All of this to me, is the grandeur of God.
Hap- Thomas Hardy
We know that God is loving and kind and wants us to "proper and be in health, even as our soul prospers." (Bible) When things are going good, we attribute that to God blessing us. When things go bad, we usually attribute that to some evil force. Sometimes in life we go through such pain and disappointments that our intellectual vision is clouded. Such is the case in this poem. His situation was so unbearable that he thought God was playing a cruel joke. If we believe that God ultimately wants what is best for us, when bad things happen, we can endure it better by telling ourselves that it is God's will for our lives.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Letter and Journal Entries on the Position of Women-Queen Victoria
"Now to reply to your observation that you find a married woman has much more liberty than an unmarried one; in one sense of the word she has,-but what I meant was-in a physical point of view- and if you have hereafter........aches-and sufferings and miseries and plagues-which you must struggle against-and enjoyments etc. to give up- constant precautions to take, you will fell the yoke of a married woman!" (576)
It's funny how newlyweds think all grass is green, the sky is always blue and holding hands in public is a must! So blinded by love seems to be the case with the Queens daughter. Writing to her mother on the great advantages of being married and having kids, she, like most daughters, wanted to share her joy. The Queen, in today's language would have commented "you have no idea". Although we love our kids and wouldn't give anything for them, moms must admit those were not 9 months of bliss. I remember swollen ankles, an aching back, sleeping sitting up and hanging my head out the window cause my husband put on the wrong cologne and I was getting nauseous. There were days that I wished I could reach in there a pull the baby out myself. So, I agree with the Queen, "I think our sex a most unenviable one." (577)
The Wife of Asdrubal- Felicia Hemans
I see this story as one of betrayal and revenge. Asdrubal was well respected by his army of men and by his wife. He had lead many triumphant wars and to the people, this was just one more battle to fight. After recognizing their defeat, Asdrubal, maybe fearing his impending death, selfishly and secretly, went to the Roman ruler to spare his own life. When I read this, I thought of a movie I saw once. The father was a local community leader and banker who had what looked like the American dream...beautiful wife, 2 great kids, and a home in a great neighborhood. But in his private time he was under great stress and stealing money from work to make ends met. When Federal Agents started asking questions and coming to his home, he knew it wouldn't be long before he would be arrested. Instead of standing with his family in the face of adversity, he took what money they had and left town, changing his name and starting over. His wife had to deal with police, who thought she was in on it, and the nagging bill collectors. The man she once held in high regard, had abandoned her when their worlds were falling apart.
"...there the proconsul attacked them; ...finding there was no way to escape, set fire to the temple." Sometimes the people in our lives, family or friends, count on us for strength and encouragement during the tough times of our lives. When we fail to endure the hardest of times, I believe those around us lose a bit of hope. My parents are thrill that I have finally returned to college and they are part of the reason that I did. But more importantly, I have to show my kids and nieces and nephews that in spite of the set backs that I have faced in life, I'm determined to make it through. If I give up, they may lose their desire to fight obstacles that come their way.
"and having uttered the most bitter imprecations against her husband, whom she saw standing below with Emilianus,-'Base coward!' said she, 'the mean things thou hast done to save thy life shall not avail thee; thou shalt die this instant, at least in thy two children.' Having thus spoken, she drew out a dagger, stabbed them both, and while they were yet struggling for life, threw them from the top of the temple, and leaped down after them into the flames."
This is the most heart wrenching part of the story. Can you imaging dying a physical, emotional, or financial death, while the one who escaped it all, is standing by watching? Asdrubal's wife was so driven by anger and revenge, she did the only thing she could to "get him back". But by doing this dreadful deed, she made her children's inevitable death worst than it would have been, if she had cuddled them till the end.
Monday, June 25, 2007
The Liberty of Thought and Discussion- John Mill
What a powerful passage on the freedom of speech. It would be quite a boring society if everyone was forced to agree with the masses. Being an African American, I have to imagine the bondage I would still be living in if great men and women didn't stand up and speak for, not only the present generation but generations to come. Being a woman, I appreciate those men who cared enough and the women who were brave enough to fight for our rights to be equally educated and paid. Being a mom, I don't have to sit back with the masses and settle for failing and inferior schools. I can voice my opinion to the principal, and if that's not heard, then to the school board.
In today's society we are often afraid to speak out against unfair treatment or injustices. Have you ever witness a parent going to far with the "spare the rod" concept in public? What do we do?....We look around to see if anyone else notices the incident so we can feel a since of camaraderie before we speak out. Are we wondering to ourselves, if we are the only one who thinks the parent is being abusive, or if others will think we need to mind our business? This passage is letting us know that even if we are the only one opposed to a situation, we have just as much right to speak out as others do to remain silent.
The Book of Household Management- Isabella Beeton (Victorian Ladies and Gentlemen)
"I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife's badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways. Men are so well served out of doors...........that in order to compete with the attractions of these places, a mistress must be thoroughly acquainted with the theory and practice of cookery, as well as be perfectly conversant with all the other arts of making and keeping a comfortable home." (p574)
This book, like the Bible, has no age. What was true for the women in Isabella's days is also true now. Many business men are engaging in luncheons and dinners to entertain clients. If the food is not catered by the best chefs in town, they take their clients to hobnob at places like Houston's, Sambuca's or Garrison's. How awful it would be if the only way he knew he was going to get a tasty meal was when he wasn't at home!
"As with the Commander of an Army, or the leader of any enterprise, so is it with the mistress of a house. Her spirit will be seen throughout the whole establishment; Indeed when a mistress is an early riser, it is almost certain that her house will be orderly and well-managed. On the contrary, if she remain in bed till a late hour, then the domestics........invariably partake somewhat of their mistress's character, will surely become sluggards."
I like how Isabella refers to a women as someone with such power and authority in a household. Like Sarah Ellis, she brought light to an image that was contrary to how men saw women and how women were seeing themselves. So often, women go through their daily lives of getting kids ready for school, off to work, back home to cook dinner, put the kids to bed, and then to bed themselves....only to realize her work is still not complete for the night. We, (I've been guilty of this to), fail to see how our many different roles, when done correctly, contribute to the success of our families. The Bible refers to the "virtuous woman" as one that gets up before dawn to prepare meals for her family. (Proverbs 31:15) If the woman sleeps late, then the kids oversleep. If they eat breakfast, then their late to school. If they don't eat breakfast, then they are cranky at school. I she drops off whining, hungry kids at school, her day doesn't go well because she feels like she is a bad mom. When she comes home with an attitude because her boss fussed at her for being late....her husband may as well turn in early.
*For those wondering why the biblical reference... The Book of Household Management became a best-seller second only to the Bible. Now that's impressive!
Records of Woman (Properzia Rossi)-Felecia Hemans
"Tell me no more, no more of my soul's lofty gifts! Are they not vain to quench its haunting thirst for happiness? Have I not lov'd, and striven, and fail'd to bind one true heart unto me, whereon my own might find a resting-place, a home for all its burden of affections?" (p. 409)
Often in life, no matter how talented and happy a person seems on the outside, deep down it seems no amount of acclamations and acknowledgments are enough to ease the longing they feel inside. When we hear our favorite love song or read our favorite love poem, we subconsciously image the writer to have gotten their inspiration from their one true love. Properzia reminds me of women who will "by any means necessary" gain the affections of someone they deemed to be "the one". We judge these type of women and say they're desperate or crazy to not move on when the feelings aren't reciprocated. But as we know, when the heart and mind are in a tug-of-war, the heart usually wins.
"I depart, unknown, tho' fame goes with me; I must leave the earth unknown......Yet one more dream! from my deep spirit one victorious gleam ere I depart! for thee alone, for thee! May this last work, this farewell triumph be, thou, lov'd so vainly! I would leave enshrined something immortal of my heart and mind, that yet may speak to thee when I am gone? (p.409)
I originally thought of Properzia's death as a woman drowning in love sick sorrow until her heart couldn't take it anymore. But this verse of poem leads me to believe she planned her death and committed suicide. I can hear her saying, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all." Before she dies, she makes one last chance effort to win his affections. When that doesn't work, she leaves the sculpture with him, with the hopes of it being a constant reminder to him of her love. Because of her unrequited love for the Roman Knight, she feels as though she is a nobody in her life. My mom has a friend that is a highly esteemed nurse who sits on the Board of Directors at the hospital. Unlike Properzia, she has been married to at least 5 different men who she felt were "the one". Like Properzia, she went to great lengths to gain the love of these men; buying wardrobes, jewelry, cars and trips. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, she hasn't given up on finding her "Knight ".
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Statement Repudiating the Rights of Husbands-J.S. Mills
The song lyrics that comes to mind when I read this is "what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man." J.S. Mills has found his first and hopes to be his only love. He not only chooses to marry her, but chooses to give up the many rights that are given to men who marry. Luckily for Mill's wife, he loved her enough to produce a binding agreement (however unenforceable ) "that she retains in all respects whatever the same absolute freedom of action, and freedom of disposal of herself and of all that does or may at any time belong to her, as if no such marriage had taken place; and I absolutely disclaim and repudiate all pretence to have acquired any rights whatever by virtue of such marriage." The future Mrs. Mills must have been amazed to know that her fiance was not all talk and followed through on what he openly protested. Mills not only lets her keep what she brought into the marriage but will allow her to take whatever she gained during the marriage, should it end in divorce. I can't imagine at this point in my life, having acquired so much without a husband, that I would want to be married so bad, that I would be willing to possibly lose it all in the end. Even for women who have not established themselves financially, marriage in those days would be the ultimate loss of one's self.
The Influence of Women-Sarah Stickney Ellis
"It is not to be presumed that women possess more power than men;.....who yet possess so clear a sense of the right and wrong of individual actions, as to be of essential in aiding the judgments of their husbands, brothers, or sons, in those intricate affairs in which it is sometimes difficult to dissever worldly wisdom from religious duty." (p 557)
As I began to read more, I looked beyond the surface of what she was saying and saw the power and unseen ability to change the world that she viewed women had. Sara Ellis believed in the "sixth sense" that many women claim to posses. The ability to know or sense that someone means us no good, that a situation doesn't feel right or that someone is lying to us. Ask any woman whose husband has been unfaithful, and she'll most likely say she sensed something was wrong. Sara Ellis was in tuned to a gift so treasured by her, that she wondered if it was heaven sent. Sure she had some opposition from the "burn your bra or corset women", but she stood firm in what she believed.
"....While his integrity was shaken, and his resolution gave way beneath the pressure of apparent necessity, or the insidious pretences of expediency, he has stood corrected before the clear eye of woman, as it looked directly to the naked truth, and detected the lurking evil of the specious act he was about to commit. Nay, so potent may have become this secret influence, that he may have borne it about with him like a kind of second conscience..." (557)
Wise women, young and old, are aware of the daily pressures men face. They can acknowledge this without feeling like they are minimizing their own challenges. Some women won't admit it but I will. We expect men to make more money than us, protect us, keep the house out of foreclosure, save for our future, and to continue going to the job that they hate, just because it brings home six figures. Even if we did want to hear it, men aren't going to tell you that in order to keep things afloat, he was tempted to take that bribe at work, cheat the little old lady out of her investments, or put a want ad in the paper for some male "Indecent Proposals" (remember the movie?). I agree with Sara Ellis that one of the reasons our men do not succumb to the temptations is that, they to, are aware of our "sixth sense". When they come home from work and reply that their day was fine, they are secretly hoping that they are looking convincing enough that you can not detect the evil that they wanted to do, but didn't. As they recline in their easy chair, they replay how they overcame the challenges of yet another day and pat themselves on the back thinking "what great morals and values I must have". All the while, she's in the kitchen patting herself on the back for keeping the "holy duty of cherishing and protecting the minor morals of life, from whence springs all that is elevated in purpose, and glorious in action." (558)
Friday, June 22, 2007
I Wake and Feel the Fell of Dark, Not Day - Gerald Hopkins
"I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day. What hours, O what black hours we have spent this night! what sights you, heart, saw; ways you went! and more must, in yet longer light's delay." (778 1-4) The woman has slept so hard from exhaustion that she is sure it has to be the next day. She closes her eyes again and thinks over the painful things that were said. She feels the hurt that penetrated her heart to the point that it seems her heart was an outsider viewing in disbelief at the things it saw. She's dreading the morning, for fear the argument will begin again.
"But where I say hours, I mean years, mean life. And my lament is cries countless, cries like dead letters sent to dearest him that lives alas! away." (5-8) Have you ever been in a relationship that has been so emotionally draining that each fight seems to last for days or years? I don't mean literally, but some words hurt so bad that, long after the fight is over, they still have life. Sometimes the tears you shed are because of your inescapable present, and sometimes they're for the pain of losing the good one that got away.
"Selfyeast of spirit a dull dough sours. I see the lost are like this, and their scourge to be as I am mine, their sweating selves; but worse." (12-14) This women is saying that the heat from hell looks better than where she's sitting. Often when a relationship goes bad, you look for some glimmer of hope. You keep telling yourself, he or she will "come around". Although it's good to not give up on the ones you love, you may one day have to take off your rose-tinted glasses and move on.
Thoughts on My Sick-Bed- Dorothy Wordsworth
We many not know anyone in such an awful condition as Dorothy, but we all know someone who complains of their situations, rather than enjoying what life has to offer and being thankful for past blessings. A friend passed away a few years ago. He was diagnosed with AIDS about 8 years before. Although he was never bedridden, he was in and out of the hospital many times. I have never seen anyone with such an upbeat, happy personality. He was the life of the party and everyone enjoyed being around him. Dorothy must have given off that same energy and zest for life because her friends didn't forget about her. "When loving Friends and offering brought, the first flowers of the year, culled from the precincts of our home, from nooks to Memory dear." (33-36)
We all have our ups and down in life but it is our choice as to how we deal with it. We can take on the "whoa is me" attitude or we can reminisce on the beauty of the past and look forward to what lies ahead. "With busy eyes I pierced the lane in quest of known and unknown things, -The primrose a lamp on its fortress rock, the silent butterfly spreading its wings, ."(13-16)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Elizabeth Browning -Sonnets from the Portuguese
"The second passed in height the first, and sought the forehead, and half missed, half falling on the hair. O beyond meed!"(7-9) I think "O beyond meed" in today's terms would mean, "Oh my gosh!" It doesn't say whether minutes or days passed before this second kiss, but I can just feel her anticipation and subsequent surprise to know that it could get any better.
"The third upon my lips was folded down in perfect, purple state; since when, indeed, I have been proud and said, 'My love, my own.' "(12-14) At last it seems she has gotten the full effect of his affections. No longer teasingly upon the hands and forehead, he goes in for the lips so passionately that she feels as though her lips are folding down and turning purple. (Well I don't think that's what she meant, but it sounds good to me.:)
And finally she can no longer hold back her feelings and utters that 4 letter word that some men think has a ball and chain attached to it...love. I'm just glad Robert Browning didn't.
Porphyria's Lover- Robert Browning
This poem reminds me of women who have been so hurt in past relationships that they put up a wall to protect their feelings or they avoid relationships altogether. Porphyria was so deeply in love with the story's narrator but had been reluctant to reveal her feelings and act upon them. "Murmuring how she loved me-she too weak, for all her heart's endeavor, to set its struggling passion free, from pride, and vainer ties dissever, and give herself to me for ever." (p.663 21-25) But sometimes Cupid's arrow has a way of penetrating our walls and we finally give in to the person we perceive we can trust to return the love. Porphyria , as most determined women, would not let rain, wind, or fallen trees deter her once she decided to give love a chance. "But passion sometimes would prevail...so, she come through wind and rain." (26,30)
The narrator was obviously head over heals in love because although the rain storm had to be quiet noisy, he "listened with heart fit to break." (p. 662, 5) But when she comes in, he acts as though he was not aware of her presence. This reminds me of my teenage dating days, when I would sit by the window looking down the road to see when my date was coming. Then I would go to my room, so my mom would have to call for me when he arrived.
The narrator seems to have been seeking the love and attention of Porphyria for quite sometime and may have never gotten over the rejection, especially since he didn't know how she really felt. "Be sure I looked up at her eyes happy and proud; at last I knew Porphyria worshipped me; surprise made my heart swell, and still it grew while I debated what to do." (p. 663, 31-35 ) Now that he finally got her where he wants her, it seems instead of returning the love and affection, he relishes in it, then punishes her for not showing it sooner. "That moment she was mine, mine, fair, perfectly pure and good: I found a thing to do, and all her hair in one long yellow string I wound three times her little throat around, and strangled her." (36-40)
Friday, June 1, 2007
THE WIDOW
Once I had friends-but they have all forsook me!
Once I had parents-they are now in heaven!
I had a home once-I had once a husband-
Pity me, strangers! (p. 72)
The widow feels she has been forsaken by her friends. Could it be that she chose a lifestyle that conflicted with the morals and values of those around her? I’ve heard of educated homeless people, who come from good families, but somehow ended up like the widow, asking for pity. And when we hear their cries, or see their outstretched hands asking for change, do we pretend we didn’t hear or see as in the poem “loud blew the wind, unheard was her complaining; on drove the chariot”. (p. 72)
We often think of people becoming homeless because of drug addiction or because they were just too lazy to keep a job. Could it be that life dealt her some harsh blows that she just couldn’t bounce back from? What if her husband’s death contributed to her lack of desire to live a full and prosperous life? I’ve certainly heard of both men and women, who because of the loss or separation of a loved one, gave up on their will to live. They stopped being productive on their jobs, which lead to dismissal. They lost their desire to socialize with others and eventually found themselves alone and unable to sustain an independent life.
The next time I happen upon a beggar, I’ll hesitate to assume the road he’s traveled, but instead, hope that his cries of pity, won’t continually fall on deaf ears.
SIMON LEE (THE OLD HUNTSMAN)
Simon Lee was childless, but had an equally hardworking wife, Ruth who “works out of doors with him” (p198). Although he is in poor health, he will be the first to tell you he has years of life left, like so many of our elderly. I, like Wordsworth, love the spirit of the elderly, for they have a drive for independence and don’t mind taking on a task that outsiders already know is impossible. This is evident in Simon Lee, when he tries to tackle an old rotten tree stump. Although failure was not in his blood, he knew when to accept help. As I was shopping the other day, I overheard an elderly lady, stating that she couldn’t find her walking stick and may have left it in the store next door. As she mentioned it again “to herself”, I knew she was too embarrassed to ask for help, so I offered to look next door. As I returned with her walking stick, the look of relief on her face was rewarding. As we go through life, we should take time to not only honor and respect the elderly, but to lend a helping hand, as Wordsworth did, when the opportunity arises.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
William Blake
In Songs of Innocence and of Experience, Blake shows us that the idealistic thought of childhood innocence can be quite contrary to the fact. Some children who are abused and neglected as infants can be said to have lost a sense of innocence. Adults, such as Michael Jackson, are often seen as children who never grew up. When we think of children, words like, pure, happy, and playful. But Blake shows us in The Chimney Sweeper, the the child Tom, was so tormented by the fact that he had to become a chimney sweeper, the night before he began, he dreamed that "all of them lock'd up in coffins of black" (81). Fortunately, he found some peace in the dream, (the Angel setting them free), that made his reality bearable. The saddest part of this, is that the parents seemed to feel this was an acceptable practice in the site of God. "Where are thy father & mother? say? They are gone up to the church to pray.....And are gone to praise God & his Priest & King" (89). This reminds me of the beatings and abuse that the children from The House of Prayer, in Atlanta, suffered some years ago. Their parents, under the guidance of the pastor, were taught that it was acceptable to God to use excessive force to correct a child's behavior. I believe that sometimes, what the "king" in our present day lives deems to be acceptable for the most innocent of our society, must not only be challenged but corrected.
William Blake - A Poison Tree
Monday, May 21, 2007
Now You Know
I'm trying to play catch-up with my education, so I'm taking 3 classes plus my intern this summer. It sounds like a lot, but working for the school system allows you to be off for the summer and still get paid......wait, why am I changing careers??? Well that's anothe story. I decided to take an online class so I wouldn't have to be away from the "little angels" another night. This is my first time, but I'm very excited, so that should make it a little easier. I expect that from this class, I will sharpen my writing skills through discussions, and I will explore an area of Literature that seems to be very interesting. The thing that makes me anxious about this class is that I'm just getting back into the swing of things and to try something new on top of that. But I love a challenge and I am a survivor!